Reflection

I have been following the Travon Martin and Mark Zimmerman situation for a while now and thought I would reflect on how I feel and what I think about all of it. I think firstly, it is tragic on so many levels. Any loss of life, especially someone who is so young, is painful and horrific to see. Secondly, I think it is wrong that people are judging Travon Martin by how he dressed and what he may or may not have done in his short life. He is dead. It is not right for anyone to criminalize him to justify his death. What we need to do is show respect to his family. As a nation we need to love them and mourn with them for their tragic loss. As big as the United States is, we are supposed to be a family. As a spectator of this tragedy, I don't believe there is enough evidence to say if Zimmerman "murdered" Martin, or "killed" him in self defence. I know very small pieces about the confrontation and it is not right for me to pass a judgement like this. It isn't right for people to feel like they have to pass such a judgement. This brings me to the real issue. The culture of the U.S. is "Right or Wrong, Yes or No, Hot or Cold....Black or White." Whatever happened to "I don't know, I need more information, I choose not to judge, I can see both sides of the situation and they both have merritt...every situation is different?" People are so obsessed with being right that they don't take a moment to try and understand how another person is feeling. There is no reconciliation in the culture of the United States. This is why race will always be an issue, even if it was or was not a motivating factor in the death of Travon Martin. The United States is one of the most legalistic places I have ever lived. This is why this situation is so sickening. The deeper problem is the law that allowed one man to carry a gun, shoot and kill another without any legal accountability. While yes he went on trial in the end. It was however, only because of the outcry of the public. If it were up to the law, there wouldn't have been a trial. And in the end, because of the law, the entire trial and judgement only caused more pain and resentment for our country. What the public wanted in this situation was a country that made judgements based on morality, rather than law. But laws these days are so hard to change in the United States that there is little room for conscience any more. In New Zealand, the government can pass a law in three days if they want to. In the United States it takes years because of all the earmarks, 1000 page bills, lobbying, and corruption. Even though people desperately want change, It takes lifetimes for it to happen. In Travon's case, a very short lifetime. Race is in the very soil of our country. It is cut into every person's subconscious like a dry river bed winding through a desert. It is not Travon Martin's death alone that causes people to cry out and rebel. It is the history of our nation. People talk about slavery as if it were a thing. It is not a thing. It is millions of people being uprooted, chained, beaten, raped, whipped, and murdered for over 100 years. After slavery was "abolished" black people were in even more danger, this time of losing their lives. Because they were no longer considered "property" it didn't matter if they lived or died. Thousands of black people were lynched, burned alive, and shot without proper trial for at least another 70 years (withoutsanctuary.org). Then, for another 40 years, black people were legally prevented from voting, attending the same schools as white people, and eating or drinking or using the same bathroom facilities as white people. This was all permitted under the legality or the fabric of our society until 1964 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_Rights_Act_of_1964). So for nearly 200 years our country, our constitution, "we the people" allowed for this terror to take place. I refer to this history because I can understand why people choose to riot and use violent protest, especially in a society where the most influential nonviolent civil rights leader was assassinated. Today, when a young black man is shot, people cry racism not because they know all the facts. They cry racism because of our country's track record. This history is crazy making. Honestly, what would 200 years of violence do to a group of people? In the end, I do not believe that violent protest solves anything. But I can at least understand it. When I first started learning and exploring issues of race, I would become defensive. I would say, "I did not do this to them." While this is technically true, it does not give me the excuse to deny that racism exists and that it is still a problem. By denying it and taking no responsibility for this problem, I am the problem. I am not writing this because I have the answers. The only thing I feel certain about is that we need to stop being defensive and listen to each other even if it makes us uncomfortable. We need to let someone who is angry vent on us for a while. We need to be strong enough to not be afraid of anger, be compassionate and brave enough to be empathetic. We must be big enough to forgive even when we are not forgiven. In the very end, Love. Love doesn't mean criticizing or judging. It doesn't mean being confrontational and closed minded. If you don't know what love means, go look it up, 1 Corinthians 13.

Here are some things I have learned through other people's breakups and divorces 1. Don't have unrealistic expectations for the person you marry, let them surprise you. It is not their job to fulfill you, give you babies, or make you happy. 2. Show your kids how much you love them by putting your spouse first. 3.Don't marry someone just so you can sleep with them. 4.Don't expect your spouse to be able to read your mind. 5. Share how you feel several times a day, even when you don't want to. Encourage them to do the same. 6. Don't try to live up to the cultural expectations of marriage. 7. Always be willing to try. 8. Believe that people can and will change.

I would say about eight years ago I had a dream. I was sitting on a beach in my swim suit, looking out into the ocean. Everything was all grey and purple, the way it gets in Maui. There were either a few islands, or I was nestled into a large bay that wrapped around and made the illusion of islands across the channel. Classical music was playing in the background, yet it wasn't actually background music. It was like the wind, perfectly natural and soothing. As I sat there, a warm northerly breeze kissed my face and pushed back my hair. I was all golden and happy. Out in the Channel, Humpback whales who's bodies' were painted with Maori designs were leaping and dancing to the music. As a cymbal crashed they lunged out of the water and slapped their backs down in unison. There were big and small whales, dancing and breeching to the music. It was totally lovely. And there I was, warm and peaceful, looking out at this amazing sight. My hands and fingers were slowly digging themselves into the sand like roots spreading at the bottom of a tree. The whales were on a journey and traveled quickly while putting on this epic show. I knew when I woke up that they were from New Zealand and one day I would go there. But I didn't realize until later, that New Zealand would become my home and this is where my roots would spread.

Teaching fun things

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More Randomness

I don't really write on here very often anymore. I'm just not that much of a technology person. I think I would rather have a really nice pen, and a cute little notebook that reminds me of something I love. Then I write. I did get a notebook like that. There is a stencil of a little girl sitting at the end of a pier. Since I am training to be a teacher, I have been doing a lot of brainstorms with the class. So I filled up my little notebook with cute little brainstorms about my childhood. It was so much fun. I wrote about my pink Jellies (the shoes), riding my bike all over Santa Cruz, Slurpees, pretending to be smurfs, all that kind of stuff. I even wrote about the soft, powdery dirt at my aunts house in Bakersfield. I remember waking up in the morning and walking outside and it being so dry, (even in the morning) that as my barefoot hit the dirt, it puffed and scattered into the air. I used to think that this must have been what the dirt was like on the moon when Armstrong first put his foot down. It was really fun to just list and organize things about my childhood. It made me feel all warm and nostalgic.
I'm liking everything that is going on in my life now. Its pretty amazing actually. The other day, a friend who I knew in Berkley who also lives here now, and I went out to get boba. Do you know what that is. Its this really sweet creamy milk tea with gummy tapioca balls at the bottom. They look like fish eggs, but taste like gummy bears that have been sitting in liquid for a while. We love it. I know it doesn't sound that appealing. But it is, and its amusing. Anyway, were talking about how here in New Zealand we have more friends then we have had since High school. Its pretty crazy to think about it actually. But it's true. I feel surrounded by amazing people that almost always say yes. Its lovely. But at the same time its almost a little scary. I have roots in a place that is thousands of miles from my family. Eek! Its great, but also a dilemma.
Keeping this blog random, I thought I would tell you that we got rid out our chickens. They are very wild you see. When I got them, I envisioned that they would run over to me every morning and let me pick them up, like the chickens I had when I was little. But they never did that. In fact they screamed like I was killing them when I was holding them. They hated me with a passion. I never liked that about that. The final straw was when the neighbors came over (twice) to tell me that they were going over into their yard and pooping everywhere. Even though we fed them, gave them a little house, clipped their wings, and put up a fence, the still wouldn't hang out in our yard. So they are gone now. Goodbye Janets. Thank you Morgan for letting us get them. I think one day I will get chickens again. But I will look into their breed more and make sure they have a big, safe coop.
Well, everything is going well. Morgan is loving his job. He is still working on Tintin. It sounds like he is doing some interesting collaborative work on some of the characters. And whenever I get to see a little bit of what they are working on, it looks better and better all of the time. Since I am at school every day, which is much farther away, he has been riding the scooter. I feel bad for him driving it in the cold. Luckily it isn't too far. And then he has been coming home at lunch time to look after the dogs. My classes have just finished. Now I have two weeks to study for finals. I am excited that we will have lunches together again.
That's all really, oh and I have another Roller derby game coming up in a few weeks. Should be good.
Love,
Jessica

Roller Derby

So I am playing Roller Derby now. I did a freshemat course in the Bay Area when we lived in Berkeley and was going to play there. But we moved to New Zealand. Almost two years later I did another freshmeat course here and am finally on a team and playing. It has been a lot of fun. The people are great. There is such a mix of lifestyles and personalities. Sometimes I get frustrated because I am too competitive and I like to compare it to the BAD girls. But I realize I just can't and I need to have fun. So since I realized that, it has been great. We had our first bout last weekend and I got a few really good blocks. Here are some pics.

Castle Point!

My mom is here! So we drove out to Castle Point and hung out at the beach. The first beach we went to was right on the road and didn't look good for dogs or surfing. But our friends told us that on the other side of the point it was pretty nice. So we drove over there. You have to drive on the beach and it is amazing. its this perfect little bay surrounded by sheltering rocks. And in the far corner there is an amazing surf spot. Morgan got a new lens for his camera. So he tried it out on me while I was surfing. Iv'e never really had surf pictures. So thats neat. It has been so awesome to have my mom here. She makes me feel all comfortable and relaxed. She gets why we love New Zealand so much.
Bye!